Wednesday, 23 June 2010
Tuesday, 22 June 2010
Saturday, 19 June 2010
Last night = Club Kali, Tufnell Park - people = Bollywood Chuntey Queens, My mate Fi and Simster with beards and all for Zaynins bday. Action = Bollywood dancing drag queens and pre op trannys pretending to have it off the hetro way on the dance floor. Too much fun for me.. I ache in places I didn't think possible and came back with more lube than a women should ever need in her life, stuffed in my bag coz it seemed like a good idea to take the free promotional goods whilst drinking brandy and dancing to 'Oh Shanti Om'
Friday, 18 June 2010
The Ascot Hat
Wednesday, 2 June 2010
Tuesday, 1 June 2010
A soul mates purpose is to shake you up,
A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master..."
— Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia)
This book has jumped out at me about 10 times in the last week. So I thought I would look it up and there it was a quote that hit me like a tone of bricks. This week is a week which has been a totally nightmare, well a total nightmare in my mind at least. Its been 9 months since I broke up with a soul mate and yet the last 3 weeks have been the hardest of all. So how does a girl whom has written a book about how she has sorted her life out and that is half way through her 2nd book about mending a broken heart go about sharing this pain and admitting that after all I am still only human. This weekend I cried into the arms of my friends. Like a soldier I have been battling on for so long and then it got me.. The emotion had reached its peak, there was only one way out and fu8k me did it. All it took was a friendly hug from a best friend and like Niagara falls it burst out and I cried and shook until I had no more left. Pretending that your invincible is not a truth that gives you any strength. I truly wonder if the Dali Lama kicks a door when someone has pissed him off or how long it took him to get to a place of peace so that he just doesn’t have to. For me I am still learning, we are all still learning, even the big D and I only know what I know and that it’s what I share. This week I became afraid of my emotions, I felt let down because I wanted to be a ‘expert’ it was a title that I had got caught up in somehow and I had managed to forget the beauty in my truth and my ability to be real and honest with myself. I loved and man whom was here to teach me a lesson, I needed to be broken so I could rebuild myself bigger and stronger. It hurts having these growing pains and change is hard but I will embrace it knowing that like medicine it does me good and I hope that whatever change you are having right now causes you to do the same. This blog is going to change from now on.. it’s time to get a bit more honest.. For a long time I have been honest, but underneath slightly scared.. So here it is .. me the girl whom stays out late, loves crap TV , loves dressing like a mad women but most of all wants to know how we can all live better, be better and feel better xx may me you and this blog have lots of fun xxxxxxx
— Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia)
This book has jumped out at me about 10 times in the last week. So I thought I would look it up and there it was a quote that hit me like a tone of bricks. This week is a week which has been a totally nightmare, well a total nightmare in my mind at least. Its been 9 months since I broke up with a soul mate and yet the last 3 weeks have been the hardest of all. So how does a girl whom has written a book about how she has sorted her life out and that is half way through her 2nd book about mending a broken heart go about sharing this pain and admitting that after all I am still only human. This weekend I cried into the arms of my friends. Like a soldier I have been battling on for so long and then it got me.. The emotion had reached its peak, there was only one way out and fu8k me did it. All it took was a friendly hug from a best friend and like Niagara falls it burst out and I cried and shook until I had no more left. Pretending that your invincible is not a truth that gives you any strength. I truly wonder if the Dali Lama kicks a door when someone has pissed him off or how long it took him to get to a place of peace so that he just doesn’t have to. For me I am still learning, we are all still learning, even the big D and I only know what I know and that it’s what I share. This week I became afraid of my emotions, I felt let down because I wanted to be a ‘expert’ it was a title that I had got caught up in somehow and I had managed to forget the beauty in my truth and my ability to be real and honest with myself. I loved and man whom was here to teach me a lesson, I needed to be broken so I could rebuild myself bigger and stronger. It hurts having these growing pains and change is hard but I will embrace it knowing that like medicine it does me good and I hope that whatever change you are having right now causes you to do the same. This blog is going to change from now on.. it’s time to get a bit more honest.. For a long time I have been honest, but underneath slightly scared.. So here it is .. me the girl whom stays out late, loves crap TV , loves dressing like a mad women but most of all wants to know how we can all live better, be better and feel better xx may me you and this blog have lots of fun xxxxxxx
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